About RebeccaRebecca Whitehead is a third year student at SLCC, double majoring in English and Fashion Design. She will have an emphasis in Creative Writing and has always aspired to publish a book. She spends her time sketching and designing and hopes one day to create a wedding dress line.
Rebecca has suffered with anxiety and depression for the last six years. knowing exactly what it's like to hide from help, she wants people to realize the severity of mental illness and to either get help themselves or help others. |
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Kathy Whitehead is the most amazing person you will ever meet. I mean I am a little biased since she is my mother but it’s still true. A little insight on her life, Kathy was born to Melvin and Patty Drage in 1960 and is the third child in her family of six. She grew up and graduated from Skyline High School and shortly after, at twenty years old, met the man of her dreams and got married to James Whitehead. By the next year they had a little baby girl. They didn’t stop till sixteen years later and had a total of ten children of their own. They settled in the house Kathy grew up in as a child and have lived there ever since. She is now in her mid 50s, has been a grandma for the last 12 years, and in total her 8 married children have given her 18 grandchildren so far. But the thing that makes her truly amazing is not that simple. I’ll let you in on a little secret that might lead you to feel the same way as I do.
Kathy Whitehead has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. This is something she inherited from her mother and grandmother. She grew up with a mom she just thought was too strict and vowed to not be that way. She had this problem herself not knowing it would get worse after having kids and never imagining giving it to all ten of her beloved children. Kathy’s life has not been a walk in the park and she will tell you that herself. People don’t realize how debilitating mental illness can be and how much it can affect your life. They don’t realize that it consumes every aspect of your life and it’s something you cannot help. It can even be hereditary. Mental illness is not easy to live with. I asked my mother to tell me about her life and her struggles and asked her if I could share her stories with others. Her response was direct. “Absolutely! I want people to be aware. I want them to know they are not the only one going through this. I want to help people look on the bright side and come out on top.” I asked her to start where she felt appropriate and she began by explaining her childhood. “I grew up with a mother who hated life.” She went on to explain how her mother was a very unhappy lady who thought the world was against her. She became very harsh and would emotionally belittle my mother, always asking her why she wasn’t as good as her older sister, making her feel ugly and pathetic. This did irreversible damage to Kathy’s self esteem and is what triggered her mental issues. She developed social anxiety. “I was quiet in high school and did my best to blend in. I was very self conscious and avoided attention.” Even today after 40+ years my mom still compares herself to her sister, her mother’s word still ringing in her head. After getting married and leaving home, Kathy finally got help for herself. As her depression worsened, mostly postpartum, she saw a doctor and was put on Prozac. “It started to be better, I could feel a major difference!” You could hear the truth in her voice but then she became sullen. “I would be doing so much better so I’d take myself off my meds. I thought I was healthy enough to handle it by myself.” Off and on Prozac for years, she struggled with wanting to stay on her meds or proving she could do it by herself. But of course it was not that easy. She couldn’t force herself to be better. It doesn’t work that way. “My depression made me tired and it was hard to raise so many kids. My anxiety also didn’t help the situation and my temper became short.” After many years of doctors and meds she decided to take herself off for good. “I wanted to do it myself even if I struggled.” Though not all times were good she learned to deal with her depression and did her best to look on the bright side of things. She admitted that she still struggles today. She knows that her mental illness will probably never fully disappear. “People need to know that it’s not something you just get over. It’s extremely hard work and it never fully goes away, you’ll always have to deal with it. But you can learn to manage it. Medication is not a bad route. I recommend it to everyone! But it can’t be the only thing you do.” Kathy can now see the signs of mental illness and has learned to recognize them in her children. “I didn’t want my kids to struggle the way I did so I tried to get them help as soon as I thought they needed it.” She did admit that she wasn’t perfect at it though. It took her a few kids to realize that most her children had inherited anxiety and depression. I had two sisters who went to therapy because they always compared themselves to each other and constantly fought. My mom knew this from her own childhood and wanted to prevent those emotional scars to be on her daughters. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough and her two oldest both go on and off their meds, going through deep manic and depressive episodes. Then only a couple years ago came the truth to three of her children’s illnesses. She sadly learned that her son had been suicidal in high school and she had had no idea. She became very upset with herself for not getting him help. At the same time she learned that her daughter use to hurt herself specifically for attention and that another one of her daughters had an eating disorder when she was younger. “I felt like I had failed my children. The one thing I never wanted happened.” She told me how determined she was to never overlook the signs of mental illness again. She reached out to others around her helping them realize their problems and get medical assistance for it. If it weren’t for her conviction I would not be in the place I am today. At thirteen years old my mom started to witness her own childhood issues and insecurities in me. She prompted me to consider seeing a doctor and I was put on medication in 2008 and have been on them since. If my mom hadn’t supported me in getting help I might not be here. It has taken a long time, a lot of doctors, a lot of meds, and a lot of therapy but Kathy does everything she can to make sure I am taken care of. Though some days are harder than others I know I can rely on her no matter what. She finished, smiling, with words of encouragement for any one who is struggling right now. “Although my issues have effected my life tremendously I am not my mental illness. I want people to know that they are not defined by what illness they have but by what they take out of it, by what they accomplish, by owning themselves. And I know everyone can make it through it!” Whitehead, Kathy. Personal interview. 24 Oct. 2015. |
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